Get a load of me. My internet service is provided by DirecWay, and for those of you who don't know, that's the DirecTV company, so it's satellite. When we have bad storms, the internet tends to cut off. Everytime the damn internet cuts off, I'm like, "Shit, I gotta fill out those job applications" knowing damn well as soon as the internet starts working again I'm takin my ass right back to diaryland and doin my shit. I sure am something, I tell you.

The papers came really early last night. Mondays are the best at the route. The only thing I hate is that the papers are so damn thin so when I throw it to people's driveways, sometimes they don't make it, so I gotta get outta my car, pick it up and put it in there. Oh, and last night I didn't deliever to any doors. I put them shits right in the driveway. Walk ya lazy ass down there and getcha paper. The only thing I did was people who requested Mailhooks. And that's it. Complain, bitch. I dare you.

After I got home from the route I was watching TV with my mom. We watched ElimiDate with the ugliest bitches I ever seen in my life. We didn't get to see the end. I swear he picked that golddigger because she was the best looking one.

We also watched Discovery Health Channel (the best fucking channel in TV HISTORY). Man, it's crazy what people go through. This cop got the back of his car ran into my some crazy cab driver who had a seizure. His car blew up and he was left with no ears, no nose, no eyelids, no hair EVER, disfigured hands, and burns all over him. Let me tell you how this man was back to work in less than 2 years after his accident, AND had another kid with his wife. That's love right there. Not only that, he got to carry the 2002 Winter Olympic torch in Phoenix.

It's amazing how some people's will to live is so strong and how they just move on from their struggles. I guess some people don't wanna try and wanna stay bitter all their lives about what's happened to them. I think that's how my stepfather is. He was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2000. Doctors said it's always been in his body, but a fall at work shook the disease from it's dormancy. To make a long story short he has neurological problems, and cannot walk without assistance.

The way he acts sometimes it's like he's giving up. I mean you can see it in the little things he does. My mom says he can't control what's going on in his life so he wants to control other things. In doing so, he almost messed up their bank account, and has lost all respect from my sister. She is a spoiled brat. Seriously. Everytime she didn't get her way, she'd whine or cry or something like that. And of course, my dad THE ONE WHO SPOILED HER would give her what she wanted. My mom objected. I objected, also, but I guess we had no say. Well, I know I didn't. So ever since he got MS, she been runnin around like a little hoodrat that ain't got no damn since. And let him try to discipline her, all she'll do is go upstairs and laugh. I remember once he beat her. It didn't hurt one bit. I remember another time he yelled at her. She yelled right back. What can he do then? Nothing. I brought this issue up to my mother and she said he has to be a man and stop letting his disease take over his life discipline her bad ass.

Me? I just deal with what's going on. We've have very few arguments. He's always waking up in the middle of the night looking for the phone like he needs to make a call or something. Dad, it's 3am, what do you really need the phone for?

My stepdad doesn't even have one of the worst diseases on the planet. I'll never trully understand what he's going through, but I DO understand the desire to just be normal. I believe that if other people with near-death illnesses can survive and move on with their lives, then so should he.

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